Last Summer Jeff and I moved out of the first apartment we ever shared. It was hard and sweet all at the same time (read more about our move here!) but ultimately we knew we were moving where God wanted us to be.
We moved about 5 blocks down the road and in with our best friends, who are also married, Sarah and Casey!
I have gotten asked SO MUCH what it's like having roommates, and sharing a home with another married couple. I thought it would be fun to start a little series called Roommate Diaries to chronicle all the things God is doing with our merged family dwelling.
To kick us off I wanted to answer some of the most frequently asked questions about our situation.
SO WHO DO YOU LIVE WITH?
- Sarah and I have been best friends for about 5 years. We met in LA and became attached at the hip. I look up to her and she has had such a huge impact in my life. She is my primary female discipler, pushes me to Jesus daily and shares so many of my same interests. We have fun doing pretty much anything and she is a joy to be around. Her husband Casey is also amazing. He is smart and witty and just a bit goofy (much like Jeff) with a huge heart and a great sense of humor. The four of us are thick as thieves.
WHY WE MOVED?
- We really wanted to live in more community. LA can be a very isolating place with the city being so large and we found ourselves often feeling lonely or wishing we saw our friends more than once a week or so. We knew that living with people would help care for our extrovert-ness and give us constant community.
- It made sense for us financially. We are paying less rent than we were before and getting more space for it. In our case, Sarah and Casey's generosity allow us to pay less but in most cases, sharing a home will save couples money.
- We wanted people who would see us and our marriage on a very real and transparent level. We wanted more accountability. It can be easy to hide as a married couple without roommates but this situation allows us to be open in front of others and in turn Sarah and Casey can speak truth and encouragement and pray for us in the day to day stuff of life.
HOW DID WE MERGE HOMES?
- This was easy. Sarah and Casey came home from NYC with very little and we still had most of the furniture from Sarah's apartment when her and I lived together pre-marriage. (That's right! We knew we would be compatible early on). Sarah and I also have very similar design tastes and so our home is coming together quite well. We also have enough of our own space to feel comfortable with the environment. The house is a spacious 3:2.
- We have all gotten some new things to share and some new things for our own spaces. We are striking the right balance of each of our personalities but it is a process!
WHAT DOES OUR DAY TO DAY LOOK LIKE?
- We prioritize a weekly dinner night as a family, right now it's Tuesdays, where we cook and eat together and catch up. We also do most of our grocery shopping together at the same Trader Joes (#119 on Palms!) every Sunday afternoon. Sarah and I are also big fans of Target runs and try to do those together as well.
- Generally, since we are also best friends, we spend a lot of time together on the weekends, at home after work by default of course, and on Sunday nights since they are in our Missional Community.
We are about seven months into the move and COULD NOT BE HAPPIER. We have people there for us when we cannot even be there for ourselves or each other. We have friends who make us laugh when we want to cry and sit with us when we want to be still but not alone.
More over we have a brother and sister to remind of how God views us when we want to run to guilt and shame. They love us like Jesus. And that is worth every struggle.
~ A ~