Our church had our first Women's Gathering of the year this month and it reminded me how important it is to have people in your life that anchor you.
Although we intended to spend a day at the beach, the inclement LA rains (where are you Spring?!) pushed us to move the party indoors. We ended up getting the world's longest table at one of my favorite restaurants in LA. I cannot say enough good things about True Food Kitchen purely for the atmosphere ALONE. It's rare to find a restaurant that is as large as it is beautiful. TFK provided ample space for 20+ ladies to lunch on a Saturday afternoon.
We always try to center our women's events around a theme or discussion. We love to just hang out and catch up but it's good to have a little bit of structure especially when there are many women that don't yet no each other.
My friend Robin came up with a few questions to help anchor the conversations. As the women on my end of the table started to catch up and share, a few things occurred to me about relationships and life. It is so important to find people that anchor you.
I am blessed to have parents that are still married and still live in my hometown. This provides the longest anchor point in my relational life. They showed me first hand the criticalness of a constance. If any of you watched the TV show Lost, you will know the "Constant" theory of having people who exist across all the chapters of your life. They help you when life gets chaotic.
Here is how I have found my anchor people:
- Be committed. Commitment works both ways but when it's there treasure it and try to sustain it. My childhood best friend Loee and I vowed to stick together when we were 7 years old. As I write this blog post from my home in LA, she and her husband live about a mile and a half down the street. It wasn't always easy. We went to different colleges and took different career paths but we remain each other's constant - its a choice we make each day.
- Put yourself out there. Friendships (female friendships especially) can be difficult and painful. I think we as women have as much of a predisposition to bond as we have to hurt each other. We will all end up alone if we don't put ourselves out there at the risk of being hurt. I have found that friendships are made stronger when people put themselves out there to be in them. Be a friend to someone and open yourself up to the same.
- Find a larger community. It's hard to find deep friendships in isolation. If you want a committed group of people who put themselves out there, you generally find them in groups. Maybe its a church or an office team or a fitness class where you find some good friends. Common interest is one of the biggest drivers for deep relationships. When you find what you love most, find people who love that same thing too.
I am super blessed to have a lot of amazing friendships in my life. Even when things are hard I know I can depend on my friends to help get me through it all. They remind of my truth, God's truth, make me laugh and call me out on my crap - as I do the same for them. They are the good ones and are worth the fight.
How have you found some of the closest friends in your life?
~ A ~